Depression

Hi Everyone,

I am feeling very depressed I hate felling this way and have been trying to pull myself out of it but seem to be stuck in a rut!!!

The reason for being depressed is that I have had excruciating pain in my left leg for about 14 weeks, I have had a cortisone injection in one of the facet joints in my lower back that has made NO difference what so ever ! I have had a cortisone injection for bursitis this has helped a little bit but not much ! I am so sick of the pain! I can't sit for longer than 5 minutes because it causes spasming and excruciating pain in my leg, so the only way for me to be comfortable is to lay down in my bed which is driving me insane I thought I would just "ignore" the pain and discomfort on Thursday and went out and did some weeding for about an hour, well I am now paying the price for that little venture I am so stiff and sore it's not funny

Sometimes I just want to scream with the frustration I feel Once I have gotten over the frustration I start to feel angry and depressed, then I get grumpy with everyone and that makes me angry at myself because I'm not normally like that! I know I will get through this I just don't know when!!

Does anyone else go through this

Thanks for listening, I hope I haven't bored everyone to tears

Take Care
Love and Hugs
xxxMaz

Hi Maz,

I am really sorry to hear you are having such a terrible time. It certainly is bad enough to have one problem, let alone one that has a domino effect on you (physically and emotionally)!! What does your doctor say since this has been going on for 14 weeks? I know in the past I have tried to ignore pain and, you're right, you wind up paying for it later.

Sounds like your emotions are running around in circles which is understandable when you have no relief from the pain. Is there anything else your doc can do for your pain? Don't worry about being frustrated, depressed, angry or grumpy that will go away when you get some relief. Besides, that's what we are here for - YOU.

If there are tears it is not from boredoom, it is for the suffering of another fellow lupie.

Please keep us updated when you can. Will be praying for you!

Dear Maz,
first of all, you have not bored me to tears and I doubt anyone who comes in here will be bored to tears by you.
So sorry to hear about the pain you have endured for 14 weeks.... not fun! But, I was glad you did try to do something different, maybe weeding for an hour wasn't the best of choices, but if it took your mind off of things for a bit, well, then that part of it was good.
I get depressed from time to time... not always from pain, - it can last for weeks, until I get so sick of being down, I become determined to pick myself up. In other words, I allow myself to "wallow" in the pity-pot. Somehow, I get myself back. I try to look for some little thing, that I can smile at - like a cloud or a cute baby. Sometimes, I just "act as if" everything is ok. or "fake it til I make it" - mind games , ya know.
But, It seems like you have the double whammy of depression and pain.
I don't know how often or when the last time was, but I hope the next time you see the dr. you mention your depression and pain. and remember to do so even if it is all better.
Please remember.... This too shall pass.

a big hug!!
xoxo
KK

Hi Chris and Karen,

Thanks for your replies and kind words! I have an appointment to see my Dr on October 7, he too thought the cortisone would help I think I will call tomorrow and see if I can get in earlier to see him. He knows about the depression, I started on new antidepressants a couple of months ago and maybe they need to be increased now. I too have "faked it" Karen but sometimes it just gets too hard to keep doing that! I will soldier on and I will get over this I guess it all just takes time!!!! Something I have plenty of

I will let you know How I get on with the Dr's.
Thanks again, Take Care,
Love and Hugs
xxxMaz

Hang in there Maz. I can relate as I have been in pain for about 11 weeks now and I had 8 cortisone shots in my head and had no relief and the prednisone wasn't working for my inflammation and just made me have roid rage. So doc had to get me off that fairly quickly where I needed anxiety meds until it was out of my system so in the meantime, he increased my mtx and we'd have to wait out the 'up to 12 weeks' working time. I have been going out of my mind. Tell your doc next week and hang in there. I am so sorry you are feeling so down. Weeding is not so easy, especially when it's on your leg that is bothering you. I know for me when I get down, I have my one person that I call and cry to. Once I get it out, I feel so much better. Hang in there. MOnica

Hi Maz:

I can relate to the depression. It comes and goes with me - I have been pulling myself out of it because I'm not on antidepressants and I think the pred. is causing mine. It doesn't make it any easier, though. I try not to show it - (like Karen said) because I don't want to get my husband upset. He has been so supportive but I know he can only handle so much, too. He is also on pred. and has his own problems. So, I just try to deal with it. It is so hard -especially if you are in pain. I really am so sorry you are having to deal with excruciating pain.

I have ben having a tough time tapering off the pred.- more fatigue and pain. Nothing like what you seem to be going through, though. I wish I had some good advice for you - but all I can do is keep you in my prayers.

Keep the faith, Maz and know that you are going to get better!

Love,

Poppy

Monica: You take care, too. Hope you start feeling better

Hi my dear friend Maz,

I am so sorry you are having this double whammy right now....and I know it has been going on for a long time.I can relate VERY much to your feelings Maz.I too am in constant pain for a long time and it does cause one to feel depressed,angry,frustrated....just to name a few.I , like the others who have replied to you, are certainly not bored by hearing about this.If anything, it helps me to know I am not alone with these feelings.I wish I could give you words of wisdom...words that could make you feel better, etc.But I cannot....BUT I can tell you that I think it is totally normal to feel this way.You are usually an upbeat,happy woman but after months of constant pain with no relief...how could you be?!As you said, you know you will get through this but in the meantime it is very frustrating and can be debilitating as well.
You may be right that your anti-depressants may need to be increased.I am glad you will be talking to your doctor soon which is at least a start at hopefully getting some relief.I too have tried the "fake it til you make it" , but at times this doesn't work.I beleive that we need to honor our feelings and let them out and express them to those we trust & feel comfortable with.Hence.....all of us here on this board are here for you just as we are all here for each other.I know for me, I rely heavily on all of you as you guys really "get" what I am going through.I know we will both get through this Maz and at least we don't have to do it alone.Keep us posted and I sure hope and pray that you will get some releif soon.I don't know if this helped at all, but just know you are loved and cared about greatly.Take care my dear friend.I will be thinking of you and sending you love across the many miles. Warmly, Barbara XOX

Hi Girls,

Monica, Poppy and Barb, Thankyou so much for listening and understanding, I know you all "get it", such is our disease that we all go through this vicious cycle from time to time whether we want to or not!

I did go to the Dr's today and as always my Dr was fantastic, he did some pressing and moving of my back and hips and is more than sure it is the facet joint still giving me trouble and said it sometimes can take up to a month for the injections to have their full effect. So he wants me to wait another 2 weeks and if it is no better he will do some more investigating, he also said it is perfectly normal for me to be feeling down considering what I have been through with my health this year! He has given me a paper to fill in for my Depression and the answers will help him to determine whether or not my medication needs an increase. In the meantime he has increased my pain meds he said it is important for me to get on top of my pain, which is what I will do.

Thankyou all again, I really appreciate your support.

Take Care my wonderful friends
Love and Hugs
xxxMaz

Sounds like you have a good doc! Hope you start feeling better soon Maz.

Monica

Hi Ladies:

Maz - I'm glad your doc gave you an increase in your meds - Maybe that will help - when you get the pain relief - you'll start feeling better emotionally, as well.

Monica - I hope you feel better very soon - you have been through a lot and I hope you can find some comfort and get some rest.

Take care - both of you - you will be in my prayers.

Hi Maz,

I am so glad your doctor's appointment went well.It sounds like he really cares and is taking action as far as helping you to feel better both emotionally and physically.They both go hand in hand and I sure hope you get some relief soon.You deserve a break and I do know how difficult this has all been for you.Just know you are not alone and have many others that care about you very much.I will be thinking of you and sending you love, as usual my dear friend. Love and Hugs,
Barb XOX

Maz,

Sorry i have not posted sooner , i have been kind of out of it myself to.
I can not add anymore to the other post that the other great ladies has posted other than that i care also and hope and pray for things to get BETTER for you and all of us.
As for being bored about reading yours or anyone else's posts (NEVER) I allways read , I might not be able to help on some issues but its
not that that i don't care, were all here for each other

from the yardman
Take care
Ray

for the rest of you great ladies

Hi Monica, Poppy, Barb and Ray,

Thankyou all sooo much, all of you make me feel better and bring a smile to my face . I'm so glad we all have each other to lean on and to give and get support from. You are all so special to me .

I hope everyone is feeling better soon!!

Barb how are the lumps going?

Thanks for the beautiful flowers Ray they really brightened my day

Take Care
Love and Hugs
xxxMaz

Maz,
I am so glad that you have seen your doctor, he sounds great. that plus is seems like he really listens to you and gives a care! Thank goodness! I hope you get some well-deserved relief soon.
take care,
Karen

Maz:

Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing? I hope you are feeling better!

Hi Poppy,

Thanks for asking you are really sweet I was feeling a little better. I had a session with my "new" therapist and he was really lovely and helpful, he made me see that it is something that alot of people go through and particularily those who suffer with a chronic illness. His wife actually has MS so he understood a lot of what I am going through. My husband had a "mad" moment and we had an argument and he called me "queer" that has brought me back down into the doldrems again We aren't talking at the moment but I guess we will sort it out sooner or later!!

Once again thanks for asking! Talk to you soon.
Take Care
Love and Hugs
xxxMaz

Maz:

I can understand how you feel. Our loved ones (husbands-or other family members) can hurt us the most - because we love them so much. I had an argument with my husband last Friday and I just couldn't get over it. Later, we sat down and talked about the stress we are both under and my fears and feelings of worth, etc. That helped but you still want them to understand - sometimes, I think, they just can't understand because they are not going through it. They are feeling overwhelmed by being caretakers. It is just a circle of emotions that continue to go around from time to time. You will work things out. Our loved ones really do love us - they are human - like we are. We all have our ups and downs.

Just know that we understand you and care when you don't think anyone else does.

Hope you continue to feel better and smile, my friend.

Maz and Poppy

On the flip side i am the sick one and also have my ups and downs with my wife. Sometimes its hard for her to understand but we usually work things out. I have learned to try not to get stressed out about it , but thats not easy to do sometimes.
Just thought i would give a males 2 cents

from the yardman

You girls take care
Ray

Hi Poppy and Ray,

Thanks We will get over it and work things out we always do.

Poppy, you are right it's because we love them so much that they hurt us so much!

Ray, thanks for giving a male's perspective, it does help alot and I really do value your opinion!

Thanks for the love and support, I'd be lost without you guys

Take Care
Love and Hugs
xxxMaz